trouble in paradise

I haven't been posting for a while about the restaurant, because I am going through a phase of doubts and wasn't in the mood to share dessert or starter photos. My motivation and drive for creativity has dropped sharpely and so has my enthusiasm for the restaurant where a couple of weeks ago I still believed I would stay for a couple of years. I am still waiting for this phase to end and hoping to be able to return to a more positive state of mind. I believe that my mistake was that I got too involved and too engaged in the operations of the restaurant, almost acting as if it was my own. While in the beginning the owner and the chef have lifted me up and expressed their admiration and appreciation continuously, all my extra contributions have become now the standard for them, positive returns are now an exception and I even sometimes feel negative vibes and pressure during service which has not existed for the first months I worked there. I feel I have lost the extremely good relation to the owner, which has been driving my enthusiasm, and while I am making more and more efforts every day to get the initial atmosphere back, I believe I need to step out or back emotionally from the restaurant, and consider it just as a milestone towards my ultimate goal. This is probably more realistic, after all I am just a poorly paid emloyee and not an associate, but the thought makes me sad.

Comments

[lisa]

Hang in there! I read your blog and am inspired by all you have set out to do and it's inspiring to read about your accomplishing it! Sorry they are not lately grateful for your hard work, hopefully it is a temporary mood thing that likely has nothing to do with you. Remember, this is one step toward your dream of having your own restaurant, and what great experience at that!

[C]

You are such a lovely and pure person, take heart and try not to let this impasse bother you.

[Ulla]

Eigentlich verwundert es mich nicht, dass du doch mal desillusioniert bist. Ich kenn das Metier ein bisschen von der Hotellerieseite und kann mich gut in dich hineinversetzen. Um so bewunderswerter fand ich deinen Enthusiasmus. Sich so stark einzubringen wird nicht belohnt wie man sieht. Was bleibt ist wohl nur die Aussicht und das Ziel auf Selbständigkeit.
Keep your spirit up!

[Bolliskitchen]

ach Ulla, das gibt's überall, und selbst im eigenen Laden mit der Krise, hätte man jetzt so seine Probleme...
Ich glaube, der absolute Traumjob muss erst erfunden werden!
Bald sind Ferien und danach sieht alles anders aus!

[olivier]

Sending you positive energy --- we are thinking at you - you are great Ulla !
Kisses - Kelli & Olivier.

[MIndy]

Keep your head up and don't worry; I imagine this is just a natural cycle. After your more difficult situations, it was so wonderful for you to have a positive one, but there are bumps in any situation. Remember your end goal and you will find your "mojo" once again!

[little-chan]

Chin up Ulla! It is natural to have doubts - the secret is to be able to control them and not let them overwhelm you. I'm also trying to take my own advice as I have a few unknowns myself - will I be able to land myself a job soon? will we find a new apartment in time? when will my cash flow start running out? will I be able to make a living? Just try and focus on the positives in life!
Bisous :)

[Chee]

I am a new reader to your blog and I just want to say that sometimes these things happen. What is important is that you realize what is happening and you are doing the right thing.