New day, new way

I got another "half-day" off today. That's good, because yesterday I could obviously not enjoy the free morning. Such bad days like Tuesday night bring me down a lot, because I end up questioning my whole decision about changing my life, concluding that I should have stayed with HP, and have wasted two years going the wrong way. It is a very bad and sad feeling believe me. So I knew I had to do something to get me out of the crisis, which was in my case longing out to people who either know me well or who know the business well. After calling some good friends and seeing two restaurant owners in Paris, who I trust in their judgement and experience I came to the conclusion that I need to hang in there, but maybe not as long as initially planned.

One of the restaurant owners I went to see is a Japanese guy who has 20 years experience in the industry in France, has worked in the kitchen and as sommelier in a couple of Michelin starred restaurants, at Thierry Marx among others. He runs now a little bistro with 30 covers in the 6th arrondissement. I knew he would help me, because the one time I went to eat in his bistro last year, he already gave me a lot of career advice and all cooking magazines he had, when he learnt that I was at Ferrandi. So I went to see him yesterday, told him about my situation and asked whether I hadn't chosen the wrong path. My thinking yesterday morning was, that I should leave the place I am now working at, and rather find a little bistrot, where I cook 3 days a week and learn the managing and administration part 2 days a week. His advice was that indeed because of my age there is not much time to lose (merci ;), but that I need to focus on learning about products first, that I should stay where I am for 6 months maximum, then move to a little bistrot, and work there for a year. The admin and managing part could come later. Then he offered me to teach me essential parts of restaurant management and administration whenever I wanted during some afternoons. So it seems I have found a kind of mentor, and I was very happy about that advice and offer.

The other restaurant owner I saw was Gilles Ajuelos from the Bastide Odeon, where I had done a two-week stage in February. His advice was also to hang in there, but not if I am scared to go there and have a "bar" in my stomach every morning.

Another unanimous advice from my friends was to talk to the sous chef who hired me, about my concerns. That is what I did right before the evening service. But I am not sure he really understood my point. For him there was no issue or problem, he confirmed that the job he gave me was above my capacities ("tu n'est pas a l'hauteur"), but that he was obliged to do so, because I had asked for a chef de partie job during the interview (which is a modified version of the reality, in fact he had offered me a chef the partie job without even asking what I wanted. I would have gone for less as well). I opened the door and said that maybe that was a mistake, but he didn't react. That conversation was not easy, but I think he is now at least sensitive to the fact, that I am not 100% happy, and promised also to alert the staff about more respectful communication with each other, when I mentioned how annoying the reaction of some people is, when I do my "shopping".

During the mise-en-place yesterday evening, I choose the difficult path and put priority to helping those people who hate me instead of preparing all for my own station. I knew it was a risk, but suddenly those two people became friendlier, and were even chatting a little with me and asking questions about my private life and my future plans. So I think it was worth it. I got my station set up in time for dinner nevertheless, and the dinner service went perfect. I was so good and fast that the second had trouble to plate in time all the dishes. And he kept saying all evening "oh my god, I am behind, what's happenig, what's happening ?" I knew that it was partially linked to me becoming better and faster, but I didn't say it ;) So the service was more or less flawless on my side. I had needed such an evening after Tuesday night. And the perspective that I either finish during the trial period, which lasts until mid February if things don't get better or stay only 6 months max (which means I have done 1 out of 6 already), give me a knew better perspective, which might help me to hang in.

Comments

[Sydney]

It sounds like you got some excellent advice. And that you had a good evening is well needed too. It is the natural progression of learning, in my experience. First, it all goes to hell, the it's all perfect, then most of it goes to hell, then it's all perfect...then some of it goes to hell, then it's all perfect...

That's because you're learning from the mistakes (both yours and those around you.) And your mind is working when your body is not - it's planning to see the potential problems before they happen. And it does, even if not consciously.

Bon courage. You will conquer these issues, certainly. And remember that while it is necessary to learn these skills, _this_ is not your dream.

[Bolli]

Na also Ulla! Das hört sich heute doch besser an, als gestern!

Und, siehste, Du wirst auch noch ultra rapide!!!!

Bin erleichtert!!
Die résolutions sont bonnes!!

Bonjour Ulla

Courage et persévérance pour tes 6 mois dans ce restau. Tu sembles avoir des amis de bons conseils tout autour de toi.
Quant aux réactions "rudes" de tes collègues le jour "michelin", ils ont oublié qu'ils avaient eu même débuté et déversent leur stress sur les plus novices (= les débutants; c'est toujours plus facile de reporter les critiques sur ceux qui doutent).
Mais visiblement, la roue a tourné avec le service qui a suivi.
Bon courage.
Bises
Francoise